I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
