i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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