I didn't shave. On purpose
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
