Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
not ubering you a puppy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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