I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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