honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
