Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
