I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
