before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
