in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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