Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
