is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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