Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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