Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
