i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
