Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize