I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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