i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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