sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
