so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
