You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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