do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
