Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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