I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
