pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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