If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
