That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize