He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
