My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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