I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
