That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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