Sponge bath it is.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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