So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
