i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
