dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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