Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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