I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Are we still banned from the library?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
