we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
