Kiss
Puke
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
