You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
