i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
