I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
