Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
