If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
