I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
