He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
