Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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