Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
