She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize