Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
