she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is wine microwaveable?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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