D3 body, D1 cock
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize