Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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