Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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