OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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