But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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