I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
