Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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