Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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