Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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