so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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