Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
