i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
