so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
