did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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