then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize