We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
