Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
