Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
