rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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