Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
