Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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