i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
