What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize