Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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