You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize