Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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