so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize