best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
