Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
